


roses, chocolates, the whole nine yards

by pages_of_altaire



Category: Danny Phantom
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Nonsense, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 13:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28849467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pages_of_altaire/pseuds/pages_of_altaire
Summary: Turns out, spending Valentine's Day with someone you love brings out just the right kind of wholesome feels.
Relationships: Danny Fenton/Vlad Masters
Comments: 22
Kudos: 76
Collections: Pompous Pep Discord - Prompts Events





	1. Rose

When Danny woke up that morning, he was greeted with a single rose on a pillow.

He picked up the flower and smiled to himself. The fruitloop was always so corny, he thought even though he secretly enjoyed it. Danny got out of bed and stretched lazily to fully wake up. It was lucky timing that he managed to clear his schedule for today, he thought as he walked downstairs. Vlad was no stranger to a little dramatic flair, but on Valentine’s Day the man simply didn’t mess around. Danny mentally prepped himself; he was going to need it today.

Vlad’s eyes followed Danny as he walked into the kitchen with the flower. “That’s a very thoughtful gift you have there,” he commented innocently, pretending to take immense interest in his morning newspaper. “Someone must be very taken with you.”

“Yeah, there’s this fruitloop who loves to give me things whenever February fourteenth rolls around. I think he’s obsessed with me,” Danny said teasingly. Two can play this game.

“He sounds like quite the romantic gentleman.” Vlad narrowed his eyes. “A rare quality to have these days, if you ask me.”

Danny sighed dramatically, feigning annoyance. “So very old world though. Like bringing me back to 18th century Vienna...”

“Where the concept of romance most likely peaked for the last time before nose-diving into the hodgepodge mayhem of modern internet dating,” Vlad said. “If the recipient is feeling particularly picky, however, I'm sure the gentleman can take a hint and rescind the gift entirely.” 

Danny chuckled. Vlad was just too easy to tease. “Happy Valentine’s Day to you too, fruitloop,” he said and kissed the man on the forehead.

Vlad hummed in acknowledgment. “See now, was that so hard?” He asked.

“Oh, shut up,” Danny retorted, but it lacked bite. “Seriously, you don’t have to do this, you know. I know how busy you get this time of the year. I’m perfectly happy just lounging with you at home.”

Vlad wasn’t easily swayed. “Nonsense. If I can’t court you on one of the most romantic holidays of the year, then love is truly dead for mankind.”

Danny’s look of fond exasperation was almost comical.

_“Vlad, we’re married.”_

He can’t with this man, sometimes.


	2. Love

“ _ God _ , dad, it’s not like I did anything so just leave me alone!” Dani cried and tried to run away.

“Get back here  _ now _ , young lady. I’m not done with you,” Vlad said sternly. 

Mikhail slithered out of the kitchen with a sundae in hand and a smirk on his face. At thirteen years old, he lived for the chaos. 

“What did she do now?” Mikhail prodded. “Is Dani in trouble, dad?” 

Danny shot him a warning glance. “Mikkie, not now. Go to your room.” 

“Aw, can’t you just let me watch,” Mikhail whined, giving Dani a smug grin that made her want to commit unholy violence. “I want to see her get busted!” 

“Shut up, butt-munch!” 

“Screw you, turd-face!” 

“ _ Enough _ .” Vlad’s voice was filled with a mixture of anger and disappointment that only dads could muster. “ _ Mikhail Dominik Masters _ -” 

The boy flinched at the use of his full name. This wasn’t good. 

“-unless you want to be grounded, I suggest you go to your room.  _ Now _ .” Vlad’s tone offered no negotiations. 

“Wha-But I didn’t do anything!” Mikhail tried to argue. 

“One week.” 

“Dani’s the screw-up!” 

“ _ Two weeks _ ,” Vlad frowned. “Don’t test me, young man.” 

Danny pointed towards the stairs with a  _ look _ . “Do you want to make it three weeks?” What is it with kids and not getting the memo? 

Knowing better than to argue, Mikhail cried out in frustration and stomped off to his room. Dani snickered quietly to herself, reveling in the sweet revenge. 

Vlad pinned her with a stern look that immediately made her nervous. “Explain. What were you doing in a club with your friends who had _ no business _ bringing you there?” 

“It was a Valentine’s day dance and I wanted to go, okay?!” 

“You’re  _ underage _ , Danielle,” Danny frowned. “And so are your friends. You shouldn’t even be there.” 

“Yeah, okay, whatever,” Dani spluttered. “But I didn’t do anything bad there, I just danced!” 

“You just danced,” Vlad repeated in disbelief. “Do you think we can’t smell the cheap vodka coming off of you?” 

“What if we couldn’t come get you tonight? What would you have done?” Danny lectured, raising his voice a little. “Would you have gotten behind the wheel? Or would you have walked home in the dark all by yourself?” 

“No, I’m not stupid, okay? I-It was just two shots!” Dani lied. “And I don’t know why this is such a big deal. You and dad drink all the time!” 

Vlad’s anger felt like lightning striking the earth. “Your father and I are over twenty-one! When we drink, we drink  _ responsibly _ . So, when you are  _ ready  _ to do what we do, then you can get your butt out of the house _ and get a job _ !” He roared at the poor girl. 

Dani stood frozen in the middle of the living room, her eyes watering with fresh tears. Never had her dad ever yelled at her like that, and his anger shook her to her core. A sniffle was heard, then two, and then Dani was crying. 

Danny softened first and walked towards his daughter to give her a hug. “Vlad, please-” 

Vlad rounded on his husband. “I’m sorry, is my authority as a parent being questioned here?” He seethed. 

“Would I do that to you?” Danny asked calmly. “You’re scaring her and I need you to calm down.” 

Seeing his daughter in tears finally snapped Vlad out of it, and the anger left as quickly as it came. Vlad sighed deeply, feeling a headache forming around his temples. However, he possessed the moral high ground as a parent and he wasn’t about to let that go. 

“Your father and I were worried about you tonight. That was a foolish thing you did,” Vlad started, his demeanor much calmer. 

Dani hiccupped and nodded. 

“As relieved as we are to have you back in one piece, you’re grounded, Danielle,” Vlad said firmly. 

“U-Until when,” Dani asked. 

_ “Until I say so.”  _

Her eyes widened in horror. “But Jade’s birthday party is this weekend-”

_ “No.”  _

“But it’s her sweet sixteen!”

“Seeing as how she was also a fellow culprit tonight, I highly doubt the party is happening,” Vlad said. “In any case, the answer is no. You’re staying at home and that’s final.” 

_ “I hate you!”  _

The words rung out as clear as a bell. Dani ran off to her room, sobbing and angry, leaving her shocked parents behind in her wake. 

Vlad looked heartbroken. Never had his princess ever said something like that to him. He sat down numbly on the armchair, his confidence in himself weakening. Perhaps he was a bit too harsh. Maybe he was being unfair in preventing her from going- 

“Vlad, she doesn’t mean it.” Danny walked over and put an arm around his shoulder. “You have to know she doesn’t mean it.”

“One can never be so sure,” Vlad muttered and closed his hands into fists to stop the slight tremors. 

“Of course, I’m sure,” Danny laughed. “You’re tough on her for the right reasons. She may hate it now, but one day, she’ll thank you for it.”

“Will she?” 

“Yes, because she loves you.” Danny kissed him on his forehead. “We all do.” 

“Keep flattering me, and we may find ourselves very busy later tonight,” Vlad joked with a weak smile. 

“Well, it  _ is  _ Valentine’s.” 

* * *

The next morning, Danny got a call from Jade’s parents saying that the birthday party was officially cancelled. Jade was in serious trouble and needed the time to reflect on her mistakes, her mom had said before hanging up. 

Dani was upstairs in her bedroom sulking over the news, with no laptop or phone to vent out her frustrations. Mikhail was pouting in the living room, his video games confiscated. All in all, it was a sullen morning in their house. 

“It’s just a phase. They’ll get over it soon,” Danny said confidently, sipping his morning coffee. 

Vlad begged to differ. “When.” He grunted from behind his morning newspaper. His hair was a mess and he resorted to wearing his glasses this morning. Still hot, Danny thought to himself. 

“Oh, let them have their teenage angst. Just remember, more love is good, Vlad.  _ More love _ .” 

Vlad scoffed, lowering the paper to reveal his face. “You say that but I think we’ve hit our quota. One more and they’ll outnumber us, Daniel.” 

“Just the right amount of love then.” 

“Indeed.” 


	3. Gift Part One

Danny answered the door to his parent’s home on Valentine’s Day to an egregious sight. 

Vlad stood at the doorstep in his best suit and signature ponytail, armed with the biggest bouquet of roses Danny has ever seen. A shiny black limo waited on the side of the street, its engine humming restlessly. The whole thing looked absolutely ridiculous. Too pretentious. Too many flowers. Too  _ Vlad _ . 

It was everything Danny hated. 

“Oh,  _ hell _ no.” 

“Daniel,” Vlad greeted curtly. “Not the face I wanted to see, unfortunately. If you don’t mind letting me in, I’ve come to-” 

“Danny, honey, who’s at the door?” Maddie peaked into the front hall. “Vlad? What are you doing here?” 

“Ah, Maddie, my love,” Vlad said in a syrupy voice. “I have come today to-”

“Bring me these flowers!” Danny jumped in, his mouth moving faster than his brain.

Vlad stared him down. “ _ What _ ,” he spat out _.  _ If only looks could kill.  __

Maddie just looked confused. “Vlad came here to...bring  _ you _ flowers?” 

“Uh,” Think, Fenton,  _ think! _ “Actually, Vlad came here to take me out for the day to, uh, give you guys some space! Yup.” Danny quickly maneuvered himself in front of Vlad and started shoving the man out the door with his butt. 

“And to...bring you flowers,” Maddie said doubtfully.

“Oh, you know him, always such a prankster,” Danny laughed nervously, wrestling the flowers out of the man’s hands to pretend to smell them. “Mm, roses! Smells...just as good as it costs!” 

“Don’t be ridiculous, Daniel,” Vlad scoffed, fighting back. “I’ve come here today to woo- _ nngh!”  _

“Shut up,  fruitloop ,” Danny hissed lowly. “I’ll elbow you again if you don’t leave right now!” 

Vlad narrowed his eyes. “Is that a  _ threat _ ?” 

“It’s a  _ promise _ !” 

Maddie watched as the two men scuffled, arguing and grunting as they both retreated out the door and onto the street. 

Danny pushed and shoved a reluctant Vlad Masters into his limo. “Bye, mom! Have fun with dad on your date! Keep that flame alive!” He yelled over his shoulder, waving hastily before disappearing into the car after her old college friend. The limo then pulled away from the curb and drove off into town. 

“How  _ odd _ .” 

* * *

“Go home.” 

“No.”

“Go  _ home _ .” 

“ _ No _ .” 

Danny inhaled a sharp breath and bit back a curse. “ Fruitloop , I don’t have time for this. Today’s a big deal for my parents so just make yourself scarce and  _ go away _ .”

“You think you can  shoo me away like a scared kitchen mouse,” Vlad smirked. “You obviously don’t know me at all, little badger.”

“I know you well enough to know that you’re not my mom’s type.” 

“Well,  _ now _ you’re just being spiteful,” Vlad said with mock offense. “Cynicism doesn't complement you very well.” 

Daniel rolled his eyes. This wasn’t how he wanted to spend today of  _ all days _ . “You’ve been after this woman since I was fourteen. It didn’t happen then, so what makes you think it’s  gonna happen now?” 

“I am nothing if not persistent for a reason, my boy. One way or another, the chips always fall in my favor.” 

“Don’t bet on it,” Danny muttered to himself. “Look, I'm not leaving you unsupervised today since you’re clearly just  gonna go back and screw things up.” 

“Obviously.” 

“Then what’s it gonna take?” 

Vlad actually looked shocked for a moment. “Pardon?” He  said . 

Danny was _ so _ going to regret this. “What’s it going to take to keep you occupied and away from mom then?” He asked, picturing himself walking to his death. 

“Well, for starters you could take her place for today,” he said thoughtfully, his fingers gently tapping his lips. 

It was Danny’s turn to look at him in disbelief.  _ “What.”  _

“Well, I did put a considerable amount of energy into planning a good Valentine’s date, you know. My plan may have been foiled, but the reservations are still valid. It’d be a shame if they went to waste.” 

“I’m not doing that.” 

“Interesting, openly defying your boss’s orders.” 

“I’m not on company time, Vlad. You don’t have a case here.” 

“True, but I've been told that personal and professional lives have an annoying habit of mixing. Seeing as how I'm known to have a rather difficult personality, it’d be unwise to  _ test _ that at the workplace by being defiant right now, wouldn’t it?” Vlad said innocently, his smile promising chaos.

If  _ only _ looks could kill! “Why am I  _ not _ surprised that you’ll resort to blackmail to get your way,” Danny said, gaze withering. He leaned back against the seat, sagging in defeat. 

“So that’s a yes then.” 

“No, but it’s not exactly within my control now, is it?” 

Vlad’s smile got bigger, showing off his pointy teeth. “It’s so refreshing when we can be on the same page, little badger. I always knew you had it in you,” he simpered. 

_ Fuck you _ , Danny thought. Not that he would ever say it out loud, of course.

They rode in what Danny perceived to be uncomfortable silence as the car took them to the fancier part of town. High end boutique shops and expensive restaurants flew by as he took in the scenery. Of  _ course _ , Vlad would take him here to stuff him with fancy caviar. Show-off. 

Vlad broke the silence first. “Well?” 

“ Well, what?” 

“It’s Valentine’s Day. I provided a handpicked bouquet of roses and a romantic date night. Shouldn’t you meet me halfway and return my efforts with a gift?” Vlad said. He even had the nerve to look offended. 

Danny put on the fakest smile he could muster. “You get to take me out, and I won’t sue you for what is essentially workplace harassment,” he said. 

Vlad looked taken aback before bursting into amused chuckles. “Touchy, touchy. With a sparkling personality like that, it’s a wonder why you’re still single.” 

“Shut up, fruitloop.” 

* * *

To be continued...


	4. Gift Part Two

Of all the fancy places to end up in, Danny wasn’t expecting this. 

“An auction?” He asked skeptically, grabbing his roll of red stickers. 

“Yes, I've been looking forward to this actually.” Vlad looked around at some of the paintings appreciatively. “There are some pieces here I’ve been trying to hunt down for months.” 

“Is this even a date or did you just wanted someone to go shopping with you?” Danny snickered. 

“Two birds, one stone,” Vlad smiled. “It could also do you good to broaden your horizons, you know. It never hurts to expand one’s cultured tastes.”

They walked around the place, taking in the sights. Danny was kind of impressed; the room looked like a pirate’s prized loot, an eclectic collection of paintings, sculptures, and intricate metal work. There was an antique mask on display in one corner, designed to be in the shape of the morning sun. The gold wiring around the edges glistened under flattering lights. It was generating a lot of buzz among the contenders, who fought over it fiercely until it sold to the highest bidder. Seven thousand dollars, Danny heard the auctioneer call out. What a bunch of rich bastards. 

“Shit, I'm way too underdressed for this,” he mumbled, looking down at his worn biker jacket and thin hoodie. His jeans were torn and looked a bit sad compared to the suits and cocktail dresses migrating around the room. It didn’t help that he was getting a few reproachful stares that made him feel like a homeless urchin. 

“Just look like you belong, and no one will question you,” Vlad advised helpfully. “It’s all about perceived appearances, my boy. You could be a rising young maverick with new money and everyone will accept it at face value. Of course, it also helps that you’re with  _ me _ .” 

Danny rolled his eyes but straightened his back, trying to look a bit more confident. 

“I didn’t know you liked collecting this stuff,” he said and watched Vlad inspect a sculpture of intertwining hands holding and climbing over each other in waves. He had to admit, it  _ was _ a beautiful piece even if he didn’t know much about art. 

Vlad chuckled. “Translation, you didn’t know I have hobbies and a life of my own.” 

“Well, when you put it that way...” 

“I do have interests outside of you and your family, little badger.” 

“Could’ve fooled me.” 

“It’s all about prioritizing your time efficiently.” Vlad ruffled his hair and winked. It was infuriating. 

“Whatever,” Danny said. “What’s so special about this thing you’re looking at anyway? You’ve been staring at it for a while.” 

“It’s a Lajoie.” 

“A La-what?” 

“Post-modern art, Daniel,” Vlad explained patiently. “Deconstruction and critique of perceived reality concocted by society. Lajoie often enjoyed making statement pieces to challenge prevailing social issues. This one in particular is just as relevant now as it was back then.” 

Danny looked at the sculpture thoughtfully. He'd be lying if he said he wasn’t intrigued. “Well, what is this one saying?” 

Vlad almost seemed excited. “Notice how some hands are intertwined while others seem to wrestle for dominance?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Lajoie is trying to show how connected and even dependent we are with our peers. He enjoyed people-watching and spent a great deal of time here in America, and he always perceived the American belief of individualism to either be the biggest display of confidence or the biggest joke he’s ever seen. Many of his more well-known pieces stemmed from his time here in the States.” 

Danny looked impressed. “Huh, so where is he actually from?” 

“Hm. He claimed to be French, but he spent so much of his time everywhere that it was difficult to find accurate records to prove him right,” Vlad answered. “But, perhaps his innate polarizing attitude towards Americans is plenty proof itself.” 

“Because the French hates us,” Danny smirked. 

Vlad laughed. “Oh, Daniel, the French hates  _ everyone _ .” 

They walked around some more, but not before Vlad secured the Lajoie within his possession. Danny was actually having a pretty good time, pointing out things that caught his eye and looking to Vlad for explanations. It turns out that Vlad was somewhat of an art connoisseur, enthusiastically answering Danny’s questions with interesting tidbits about the artists and their inspirations. 

“You know, it’s pretty cool you know all this, fruitloop,” Danny said after a moment of silence. 

“I have a lot to offer,” Vlad shrugged. “It can’t be schemes and plots all the time.” 

“I would prefer it if it’s none of the time.” 

“Now you’re just being unreasonable.” 

At some point, Danny split off from Vlad and the rest of the rich art groupies to wander around by himself. They were fawning over a metal sculpture that looked suspiciously like a penis, and Danny was genuinely concerned about their lack of awareness on the matter. Whatever. Rich people got really weird tastes. 

Something familiar caught his eye, and Danny rushed over to examine it. The instrument was  _ beautiful _ . Polished and well taken-care of. He reached out a hand to lightly touch it, only for it to be slapped away. 

“Ow!” 

“Be careful, young man, this treasure here is an antique. Break it and you buy it,” the auctioneer said, turning his nose up at Danny. 

Ugh. He was one of _ those _ . “I’m careful, I promise,” Danny smiled and held his hands up jokingly. “See? Totally harmless.” 

The old man narrowed his eyes and sized Danny up. Yup, he could definitely smell the poor coming off of me, Danny thought to himself. Young maverick, my butt. 

“Do you even know what this is?” The auctioneer asked with disdain. 

Danny fought the urge to roll his eyes. “It’s a sextant. Sailors used them to locate the stars so they don’t get lost at sea. I'm poor compared to all of you, but I'm not stupid.”

“Oh? Then I trust you to be smart enough to know that you shouldn’t touch what you most likely can’t afford,” the man said. 

“Seriously, you’re judging me? That asshole over there just bought a painting for a quarter of a million dollars and said he was gonna hang it upside down in his _ bathroom _ ,” Danny said in disbelief. “What’s his excuse?” 

“Is everything alright here?” Vlad asked, his tone cool and levelled but definitely held a touch of authority. It took him only a second to read the situation before smiling deviously at the boy. 

This was  gonna be fun. “If you want it so badly, Daniel, you only need to ask,” Vlad offered, reaching up to tug at a lock of Danny’s hair playfully. The auctioneer balked at their closeness, his mouth falling open in shock. 

Danny didn’t know what was happening, but was unwilling to back down. “I don’t need your power over me again, fruitloop. Haven’t you taken enough?” He retorted. It was totally meant as an innocent jab, but sometimes Daniel really didn’t help himself. 

Vlad could practically  _ hear _ the old guy choking on his own disbelief. 

“Suit yourself, little badger. Then, surely you won’t mind if I step in to place a bet.” 

Danny narrowed his eyes at the challenge. “Two-hundred,” he said out loud. It was the minimum starting price, but he wasn’t going down without a fight. 

“Two-twenty.” 

“Two-sixty.” 

“Two- _ ninety _ .” 

“Too rich for my blood,” Danny sighed in defeat. He liked the sextant just fine, but not enough for three-hundred macaroons. 

The auctioneer wordlessly took the item away to be packed, gladly getting away from the strange vibe between the two. 

“You were never going to buy it, were you? You just wanted to jack up the price,” Vlad said, but his eyes assured Danny that he wasn’t mad. 

Danny gave a cheeky grin. “We’ll never really know, will we?”

* * *

To be continued...


	5. Gift Part Three

“What are you doing?” Vlad asked. 

Danny looked uncomfortable. “I’m contemplating.” 

“On what?” 

“I’m contemplating which fork I want to kill myself with,” Danny said seriously. He eyed the array of fancy cutlery spread out on the dining table before him. Forks and knives and spoons of various sizes sat on the table, mocking him for his lack of sophistication.

Vlad rolled his eyes and unfolded his napkin. “It’s not that difficult, Daniel. You just work from the outside in,” he said. “Stop being so small-minded.” 

Danny picked up a small salad fork to inspect it with suspicion. “Can’t we just grab something from the food trucks outside?” He asked. 

“I know you enjoy being creative with your palate, little badger, but I'm not interested in contracting food poisoning tonight.” 

“You’d be surprised at how good the food is from those small vendors,” Danny defended. “Look who’s being small-minded now.” 

“Forgive me for wanting to have my food indoors,” Vlad sniffed. “This wouldn’t be a problem if your mother was here instead of you.” 

To his surprise, Danny busted out laughing. 

“Vlad,” Danny said, amused at the thought. “My mom doesn’t like any of this stuff.” 

“What do you mean?” Vlad asked. He was getting mildly annoyed by this conversation already. 

Danny wasn’t stupid. He could sense Vlad’s defensiveness from a mile away. “Okay, all jokes aside,” he said kindly, smoothing out his napkin on his lap. “Forget that she’s my mom for a moment. Tell me, how well  _ do _ you know Madeline Fenton?” 

Vlad scoffed. “I hardly think I have to justify my affections for a woman I’ve known since my college years. My friendship with Maddie has a longer life span than even you,  Daniel. ” 

“C’mon, Vlad,” Danny coaxed. “Just humor me. What do you  _ really  _ know about her?” 

“Well, she’s brilliant.”

“And?” 

“Beautiful, sophisticated, kind-” 

Danny nodded. “Go on.” 

“And...” Vlad stalled, realizing he was running out of adjectives. And what else, he thought. He loved this woman, did he not? But twenty years of his unrequited devotion suddenly had left him drawing a blank. What  _ did _ he really know about Maddie? “And... she is everything I want in a person,” he finished, feeling rather unsatisfied with his answers. 

If Danny felt pity, he hid it well. “You’re not wrong,” he said. “You did know my mom before me. But I know my mom too, and she’s many things, but sophisticated is definitely not one of them.” 

“Why not?” Vlad questioned. He couldn’t help but feel overprotective over the image of Maddie he had in his head. She was perfect in every way. Not even Danny could put a dent in that. 

Danny looked around. “Well, to start, restaurants like this actually make her really uncomfortable. She's more of a... hotdog on a stick while sitting on a sidewalk kind of gal.” 

Vlad blinked. He had trouble consolidating that  _ his _ Maddie had the palate of a young twenty-something who thought the Nasty Burger was still an acceptable place to dine.

“And as brilliant as she is, she does tend to get lost in her work and forget about...everything else. Like eating, and whether or not her kids are even at home at one in the morning,” Danny winked. “Don’t tell her that though.” 

“And she  _ is _ kind. Until she starts arguing with dad, that is, because she wants to win,” Danny laughed. “She  _ always _ wants to win, and sometimes dad just lets her. You get used to it after a while, but you’ll never love it.”

Vlad leaned back and sipped on his wine. “What are you implying?” 

“I’m saying that while I love my mom, she _ is  _ just a person,” Danny said. “It sounds like you idolize her, but she  _ will _ sometimes disappoint you. Like all people do.” 

Vlad looked contemplative. “If this is your attempt at dissuading me from pursuing her, Daniel, then I must say it’s quite the clever move,” he said, staring into his wine. 

Danny shrugged. “I’m just saying, Vlad. It’s difficult to live up to the image you built up in your head. You’re kind of high maintenance.” 

“I’ve always known I have high standards,” Vlad said defensively. “Why should I compromise that now?”

“Because no one can live up to those standards, probably not even my mother.” 

When the appetizers arrived, Vlad was quiet. It was the sort of quiet that needed space and reflection, and Danny knew better than to interrupt the man’s train of thought. He felt really bad. After all, he went through the same thing with his own crushes back in high school, so he was familiar with how much it could sting. But that was  _ high school _ , and someone like Vlad was just too old to keep wasting his own time and clinging onto fantasies. 

Needless to say, there wasn’t much talking after that.

* * *

“I am severely overdressed.” 

“Haha,” Danny teased. “How the tables have turned.”

“Well, I wasn’t exactly anticipating on being here tonight, am I?” Vlad said, agitated. 

“Hey, you said to take you somewhere that’s more my mom’s style, so I'm just following through on what you want,” Danny said nonchalantly. “If you hate it, then you’re just proving my point.” 

Vlad glared down at him. “As if I’ll give you that satisfaction.” 

“You’re just a sore grumpy loser, fruitloop.” 

The carnival in February was quite a sight. Game booths and lights lined the street as people walked about, their excited chatter adding to the bustling atmosphere. To Danny, this was familiar territory. His family came every year without fail, and his mom especially loved getting on the Ferris wheel to the tippy-top, where she could enjoy the beautiful view of Amity Park. 

Except there was one tiny problem. 

“Well,  _ well _ ,” Vlad snickered. “This must be embarrassing for you.” 

“Oh, shut up, Vlad,” Danny scowled and crossed his arms. It was just his luck, really, to get stuck in the Tunnel of Love with his sadist of a boss/ex-archnemesis/tax evader. 

In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, the carnival opened up a few new rides for their fellow patrons. Unfortunately, they all shared a common theme: love. It was an emotion that Danny was definitely _ not _ feeling at the moment. 

“Quite frankly, I'd be more inclined to get into the mood if you had taken me to the movies, badger,” Vlad chuckled, his laugh reverberating through the dim plastic tunnel. 

Danny shifted uncomfortably in his seat as the little vehicle carried them both through a man-made river. “Look, I forgot that they do this every year, okay?” He snapped. “And note  _ taken _ ,  fruitloop . Not that I asked.” 

It also didn’t help that the rollercoaster  _ and _ the spinning teacups closed down due to maintenance, so his hopes of making Vlad throw up went completely out the window. 

One embarrassing ride later, Danny decided to play it safe and stick close to the game booths instead. He dragged Vlad over to the dart board, knowing that the man’s innate competitiveness would take over and make this fun. 

“Bet you five bucks and a purple slinky that I pop more balloons than you,” Danny smirked and held up his four darts. 

“Well, then I hope you can spare the cash,” Vlad retorted sarcastically and shrugged off his coat. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Mr. Millionaire.” 

“It’s  _ Mr. Billionaire _ to you, Daniel. But  _ thank you _ for the demotion.” 

They each took turns throwing their darts, with Vlad growing increasingly more frustrated as every one of his darts bounced off their target uselessly. Danny hid his chuckles behind his hand as the furrow in the man’s brow got deeper. It was  _ too  _ easy. 

“This game is clearly rigged!” Vlad shouted when he ran out of darts (and luck). He excelled in physics back in college, damn it! There was just  _ no _ way those darts couldn’t hit a single balloon. 

Danny stepped up to the plate and casually aimed at the blue balloon in the middle. “Oh yeah?” He said and threw his dart at it. 

_ Pop!  _

“You’re clearly cheating,” Vlad accused. “I don’t know how, but you  _ are _ .” 

“Calm  _ down _ . It’s all in the wrist action.” Danny rolled his eyes. “You just  gotta know how to finesse it.” 

“What are you talking about? I did the same thing you did!” Vlad snatched a nearby dart to try again. It bounced off lifelessly and rolled onto the ground. “See? Speed, angle, torque. The math doesn’t lie!” 

“I can’t believe you’re losing it right now.”

“Math is math.” 

“There are  _ five-year- _ _ olds _ who can hold it together better than you.” 

_ “Math  _ _ is  _ _ math!”  _

In the end, Danny pocketed the purple slinky and had to drag the man-child away from the booths before he made (another) child cry with all his petulant screaming. They walked around some more, with Danny coddling Vlad with some two-dollar cotton candy that the older man surprisingly enjoyed. Even more proof that he was dealing with a child, Danny thought. But it was amusing, nonetheless. 

The night gradually started winding down when Danny held up his last two tickets as they stood in front of the Ferris wheel. It was pretty empty by then, as most people felt it was getting too cold and decided to hurry home. There was practically no line left, and Danny gave Vlad an imploring look.

Vlad looked at him skeptically. “You’re serious.” 

“I don’t want to waste the tickets!”

The man operating the ride gave them a funny look as he brought the bar down onto their laps. They sure made a funny couple, and wasn’t the boy a little too young for someone like  _ that _ ? 

“Enjoy the ride,” he said gruffly before hitting the button. Whatever, it wasn’t any of his business anyway. 

As the wheel jerked into motion and brought them closer and closer to the top, Vlad realized that he may have judged a bit too soon. 

“Oh,” he muttered softly at the view before him. At his age, Vlad was no stranger to expensive and beautiful landscapes. His mansion had an open view to the well-groomed acres of his estate. His Paris apartment overlooked the Eiffel Tower. The living room window of his NYC penthouse framed a beautiful view of the city skyline. 

But there was something about the charming warm lights illuminating Amity Park at night, twinkling among the trees like they had urgent secrets to share, that made Vlad feel a sudden wistful affection for this small suburban town.

“Pretty, right?” Danny said softly. His breath fogging in the crisp air. “It’s not much, but it’s home.”

“Sometimes that’s enough,” Vlad responded. There was an emotion behind those words that made Danny’s heart clench. 

“About what I said back at the restaurant,” he started carefully. “I’m sorry if I overstepped. I didn’t mean it like that.” 

Vlad was quiet for a long while as he gazed at the trees. The air was a bit colder now, the bite of winter lingering in the air. The furrow in his brow was back as he sat there, contemplating on something. He sighed after a moment and closed his eyes. 

“It’s funny,” he said. “I should be furious. I should have told you that you don’t know what you’re talking about, but my mind keeps going back to football.”

Danny looked confused. “I’m not following.” 

“Packers’ playoffs, 1989. I had gotten tickets. They were hard to come by and the seats were terrible, but I managed to get two. I was supposed to be there with your mother, but Jack insisted on coming along, you see,” Vlad recalled. “I have no idea how he managed to worm his way in, but the man can be a sly one when he wants to be.”

Danny nodded understandingly. “You were trying to take my mom on a date.” 

Vlad smiled, but it held a tinge of melancholy. “It’s strange. I remembered the score and every play-by-play perfectly to this day. It wasn’t often that the Packers won a game. Thirty-one to twenty-six against the Saints,” he said and glanced at Danny. “I wager if you ask your parents about it, they wouldn’t remember a damn thing.”

“They’re not really sports people, Vlad,” Danny said. 

“I thought so,” Vlad said. “I probably should’ve guessed. The only time I remembered her laughing that day was when Jack tried shoving a dozen hotdogs into his mouth at once.” 

Danny felt a rush of empathy for the man. “Sorry, didn’t mean to ruin your night.” 

Vlad huffed a laugh. “Nothing like a healthy dose of reality to bring me some closure,” he said. “You always do give the most surprising gifts, Daniel.” 

Danny’s hand was warm as he laid it tentatively over Vlad’s gloved one. He was pretty awkward when it came to comforting people, but Danny still wanted to try nonetheless. There was this distinctive feeling that Vlad needed it right now. 

“It’s  gonna be okay, fruitloop,” he said gently. “You’ll find your person one day.” 

Vlad stared at  him, his gaze unreadable. There was a small trace of an upward tilt on his lips as he reassuringly squeezed the boy’s hand before letting go. There was still hope in those eyes. Danny felt happy to see it. 

“Hn. I’m not giving you the five dollars, by the way. I refuse to accept that my defeat was just and fair.” 

“Jesus _ Christ _ , Vlad.”

* * *

“They’re not back yet, so there’s no point for you to come in,” Danny blurted out as they arrived back at his home. 

“Oh,  _ unclench _ , will you? It’s not as if I have all the free time in the world to be dawdling around your home,” Vlad retorted. 

Danny breathed a sigh of relief and shuffled himself toward the car door. He suddenly paused to rummage through his pockets, feeling for that familiar plastic. “Before I forget. Here,” he said and held out his hand. 

It was the plastic slinky from the carnival. A cheap bauble from one of the game booths that they fought so hard over like literal children. “It’s not like I could afford anything at that auction. I’m not made of diamonds,” Danny said defensively. 

Vlad stared at cheap toy blankly. “What’s this?”

“A slinky.” 

“I know. I meant, why are you giving this to me?” 

“It’s a gift.” 

“You didn’t get me a gift. You trapped me in a non-optional social convention.” 

“Even when you’re not scheming, you’re still such a  _ jackass _ ,” Daniel hissed and threw the little bauble at him, leaving Vlad laughing in the backseat. He stomped up the front steps toward his house, feeling irritated. God, why does Vlad always have to be so  _ difficult _ ?!

“Daniel.” Vlad had climbed out of the car, casually leaning against the open door of his vehicle. His eyes were mischievous as he played with the slinky in his hands. In the back of Danny’s mind, he thought the man looked quite handsome. But his pride immediately shut that thought down. 

“I had fun today.” And then Vlad smiled. Not the one he usually gave to the cameras or the one he used with politicians. A genuine one that softened his lips and made the corners of his eyes crinkle, bringing out his age in a charming way. 

Unwillingly, Danny felt his heart skip a beat.

* * *

“You’re  _ kidding  _ me.” 

Vlad stood on the doorstep of Fenton Works in his casual slacks, looking very dashing with a single white rose in his hand. It was Valentine’s day,  _ again _ , and the fruitloop didn’t fail to show up exactly on time just like last year. 

“Vlad, we’ve talked about this,” Danny said. He could feel a headache coming on. “ _ C’mon _ , man. At some point this just looks  sad .” 

“Actually, I'm here for you,” Vlad said indignantly. “But thank you for the harsh reminder.” 

Danny felt blindsided. “W-Why?” He spluttered. He was definitely blushing. Damn it.

“I thought about what you said.” Vlad shrugged. “How I build people up in my head and make it impossible for them to prove me right. Beautiful, sophisticated, brilliant,  _ whatever _ it is. I decided, at the end of the day, none of it really matters.” 

“Oh?”

“Yes,” Vlad grinned and bit his lip. Danny was ashamed to admit that it was sexy. “ _ Because _ , after a while, you just want to be with someone who makes you laugh.”

The man was too good at charming the pants off people, Danny thought as he slowly closed the door behind him and stepped outside. He met Vlad’s gaze steadily and made a decision right then and there. “So, where are we going?” He asked, heart pounding, and watched as the man beamed with delight.

“You know where,” Vlad teased and walked towards his car. He took a less conspicuous one this time and drove himself. Vlad held the door open like a gentleman. “But, this time, I’m beating you at darts.” 

“Give me your best shot,  fruitloop .”


	6. Love Letter

There was a wet teabag on the kitchen counter. 

Danny stared at it for a long moment, feeling the prickle of annoyance from the past few weeks precipitate into a burning anger that he hasn’t felt in a while. He snatched up the wet lump of trash and chucked it aggressively into the bin. This was the day. He could feel it. He was going to die on this hill by himself, or take Vlad down with him. 

He opted for the latter. 

Danny stormed into the library where the man sat innocently with his book and steaming cup of tea,  _ minus _ the teabag. Danny felt something inside him snap. 

“Is there something satisfying about leaving teabags everywhere?” He said heatedly. “Or do you just do it to annoy me?” 

Vlad stared blankly at him. “I beg your pardon?” 

“You. With the tea. Teabags _ everywhere _ staining the counters,” Danny said through gritted teeth. “Why do you make it your life’s mission to piss me off?” 

Vlad just looked lost. “Do you want me to break down my twelve-part plan or...?”

“Oh, you think this is funny?” 

“I don’t even know where this is coming from!” Vlad cried. “What’s gotten into you this morning, Daniel? It’s just one teabag.” 

“It’s not _ just  _ the teabags!” Danny was livid. Everything was coming out now. “It’s the cups. It’s the glasses. It’s whatever drink you leave behind because you  _ never  _ finish it.” 

“I put them in the sink!” 

“That wasn’t you, that was me!” Danny retorted. “God, Vlad, this quarantine is hard enough without you driving me insane day and night. And speaking of nights, I can’t even sleep now because your snoring has gotten  _ worse _ .” 

Vlad scoffed. “Now you’re just exaggerating. My snoring is not that bad.” 

“Oh,  _ please _ . It practically rattled the windows. My dad’s RV didn’t make that much noise when it hit rocks!” 

“You think you’re so easy to live with, don't you?” Vlad fought back. “I can’t even walk around our bedroom without tripping over your shoes or your clothes. How difficult is it to use a hanger?!” 

“At least it’s not as bad as spending an hour in the bathroom on your hair!” Danny said. “How many beauty products does one person need? How much  more  _ vain _ __ can one person get?” 

“You leave my hair out of this!” 

“I can’t even use the bathroom when you’re in there!” 

“You live in a house with _ five  _ full bathrooms, Daniel. So just pick one and use it!” 

“It’s about the principle of the matter!” Danny yelled. “You can’t just hog the bathroom all to yourself!” 

“I bought all five bathrooms. If I want to take my sweet time using one,  _ then I’m going to do whatever I want!”  _

Danny threw his hands up and started walking away. “That’s it. I’m not  gonna talk to you when you’re being impossible to deal with.” 

“I’m impossible to deal with,” Vlad said incredulously. “This whole fight started over a teabag!” 

_ “It’s not about the teabag!”  _ Danny screamed and ran for the stairs. He couldn’t do this anymore. He was going to kill the bastard if he stayed one more second. 

“Oh, you’re walking away. That’s just terrific!  _ Happy fucking Valentine’s Day to us! _ ” Vlad shouted sarcastically, too livid to censor himself. In all his years alive, Danny was the only person to push his buttons enough to make him curse. 

Danny slammed the door to their bedroom hard, listening with satisfaction as the noise reverberated through the hallway. That felt good. 

He plopped onto the bed with a groan, massaging his hoarse throat. They haven’t fought like that in a while. Man, quarantine was really making this marriage age in dog years. He hoped that they don’t kill each other before this whole nightmare is over. Loving Vlad through COVID lockdown was really hard sometimes. 

It wasn’t even about the teabag, dammit. 

Danny got up, frustrated. It wasn’t a good idea to sit here and brood. He needed some distance. Or something to take his anger out on. The ghost zone for the next few hours sounded just perfect.

He made sure to leave a note before leaving.

* * *

When the sun finally started setting, Vlad decided enough was enough and went off to find Daniel. Call him old-fashioned, but Vlad was a firm believer in never going to bed angry. He had some making-up to do. 

Vlad easily phased through the door to their bedroom, searching for a familiar figure but coming up empty. He frowned at the two shirts on the ground that didn’t belong to him. It seemed so silly. It was just two shirts. Why were they even fighting? 

“Daniel?” He called out. No answer. Vlad started getting a little worried. Daniel wasn’t the type to just up and leave with no explanation. 

A note on the bed quickly reassured him that it wasn’t the case at all. 

_ Dear Vlad,  _

_ Went for some alone time in the ghost zone. I think we both need it.  _

_ This doesn’t need repeating, but I love you. You’re my husband. Marrying you was, and still is, the best decision of my life.  _

_ But if you yell about stupid shit one more time, I will personally social distance myself the fuck out of this marriage.  _

_ Happy Valentine’s Day,  _

_ Danny _

_ P.S: This is  _ ~~_ still _ ~~ _ not about the teabag.  _


End file.
